Profound, Arresting, Paralysing Love

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Dear Inner Circle,

When has love ever been more profoundly present than when a young man and women nurse their newborn, with all the strength that love can muster, willing their child to live while his life ebbs away? Twice in the past few months, I have been invited into such a moment. I have no right and no place in such a room, but on both occasions, some precious, broken-hearted people invited me to be a tower of weakness for them.

It’s impossible to walk away from some situations without being changed. It seems insensitive to say we received something from those moments because clearly, we lost something. We suffered an unthinkable loss and yet I left the room knowing I’d received something too. A little baby looked into his mother’s face while she sang sweetly to him. A little boy lived his life on his mother’s breast while her fingers and those of his father, soothed his head and little body. The little boy was not here for long, but he was here and he was loved and he was beautiful. Normally we lament the lack of time and yet we touched eternity. Few sing about the agony of love as if it could be desirable. The crucifix is an anachronistic symbol for this culture, well shielded from death, yet I don’t know when I’ve seen anything more beautiful or more powerful. How lost are we who judge love to be absent when the feelings are difficult? How unsatisfying is love presented as fairy tales about only good feelings?[vc_row columns_on_tablet=”keep” padding_top=”0″ padding_bottom=”0″][vc_column h_text_align=”left” h_text_align_mobile=”left” v_align=”v-align-middle” use_background=”” width=”1/1″][tm_image image_id=”823″ link_image=”none” textarea_html_bkg_color=”#ffffff” caption_type=””][/tm_image][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row columns_on_tablet=”keep” padding_top=”50″ padding_bottom=”50″][vc_column h_text_align=”left” h_text_align_mobile=”left” v_align=”v-align-middle” use_background=”” width=”1/1″][tm_textblock textarea_html_bkg_color=”#ffffff”]On Hughes Street earlier today, I met a bloke who is normally a bright, witty fellow. Today he spoke about ordinary things, but he also spoke with an urgency as if he was on an important crusade. The anger and desperation I felt from him didn’t match the content of his words. I asked if he was ok and he said he was, “fine”. But even the word “fine” was spoken like a crusader. I said, “If you were a little kid, I’d be asking what you’d done wrong recently because everything you say sounds like a cover for something”. He broke down and told me that he’d been on a bender that had gone for nearly a week. He’d borrowed money from everyone he knew and now everyone he knew was pursuing him for repayments. He felt so desperate, all he wanted was another drink. He didn’t want to keep talking because I had no money that I could give him. As he walked away I said, “I love you big fella but I don’t know how long you can keep hiding from yourself.”

I’m writing just now from Robyn’s hospital bed. She’s had a small stroke and it has stopped us both in our tracks. I’ve heard several doctors talking to each other about some 65-year-old woman in their care and it takes me ages to realise they’re talking about Robyn. We spent our forty-sixth wedding anniversary pondering how time is not a constant, but something that accelerates. We are both approaching the speed of light.

Thanks for being part of our inner circle,

Graham

Rev Graham Long
Pastor & CEO
Wayside Chapel

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