Dear Inner Circle,
There are some compliments that just don’t land very well. One evening when the kids were young, they were sitting around the dinner table having an avid debate when I entered the room, late again, this time from being a guest on The Drum. One of them looked up and asked, “Reckon we ask him?” They both then burst into laughter in unison, “Nah!” Then in an Aussie triumph of language, one of them broke, “Yeah, nah, actually, you know, he might have something to contribute?” Was this a question or an invitation? I slumped in my chair and smirked at how quickly in your children’s minds you go from being the holder of all knowledge, to a mouth breather, and then someone who might mildly know something about something.
One of the compliments I often get about our work here that makes me chuckle is, “I just couldn’t do what you do, my heart would break”. That makes it sound like to be involved means you’re heartless. The reality couldn’t be further from the truth. One of the best pieces of advice ever given was by someone who always urged us to be “soft at the edges and hard at the centre.” (Having been called a chocolate frog for most of my childhood I rankled at this, but as I was partial to the hard centred variety, I relented.)
It has proven to be some of the best advice on how to hold firm in a storm of sorrow. To be approachable and kind, while keeping a sense of your own values and what you will and won’t say yes to is ultimately a gift freely given — though some seek connection by tearing down boundaries, as that tragically was a part of their lived reality when those who should have protected and nurtured them did the opposite at key moments in their lives. They learned a love that blows in and out. But it’s that ‘hard centre’ that is the internal anchor keeping you moored, ready to reach out and meet someone rather than rush in only to disappear again.
Love really is the ability to show up consistently in presence and demeanour, whether it’s with kids or at Wayside. Though I’ve learnt that consistency doesn’t guarantee you’ll be taken seriously — just that you’ll be reliably available for eye rolls, “Yeah, Nahs” and the occasional admission that you might, just might, know something about something.
Thank you for being part of the Inner Circle,
Jon
Rev. Jon Owen
CEO & Pastor
Wayside Chapel
PS: I’ll be away next week, hitting the road with a group of mates who’ve been travelling the path with each other for 30 years. I’ll see you in this note again on the 23rd, until then, take care.
