Dear Inner Circle,
Our mission of “creating community with no us and them” is an aspiration, one that we do not always live up to as best we can. There is so much that confronts us as we seek to live up to such a high ideal. Someone once observed that those who love their dream of community will destroy community, but those who love the people around them will create it. There is nothing like the real intruding into the ideal, the messy making itself felt in the mundane.
We were farewelling a twenty-year veteran of the community in the chapel while at the same time a young man was doing his best to do impersonate the loud cry of Bruce Lee. He occasionally employs this tactic as an attempt to quiet the invasive thoughts that can plague his mind. Whilst his timing couldn’t have been worse, no one turned a judgmental glance his way, but rather, some sat quietly with him as he wrestled his mind into a nil all draw.
The cold and the rain have set in, right on the heels of the incessant humidity, which only adds to the increased deterioration in the health for some of our visitors. Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand to wave, one to overcome the battles they face, within and without.
The thick, humid weather of March and April exacts a toll on weary bodies and sadly has brought about the passing of 12 of our community in the past month alone. Nothing can quite prepare you for any death, let alone so many in a row, the pain we share serving as a reminder that the love we speak of was the real deal. My heart nearly stopped when I received the message from the hospital “we are going to turn off the breathing machine.” Thankfully they must have heard the horror in my voice and jumped in, “in order that she can breathe on her own!” Now it is a long held Wayside tradition for messages to only be half passed on, but not all half-garbled messages are created equally.
I shared a bowl of hot soup at a local cafe with a beautiful woman, as a way of us quietly celebrating being housed seven years this week. We made quite a sight as we laughed, and she flicked her wig back and forth with reckless abandon. Yet her gaudy appearance is a front for the pain she holds in her heart at being rejected by her father as a young child.
Her gender dysphoria meant she felt this rejection as a double blow, and now it is a pattern that repeats itself regularly, when the men who seek her services or companionship are too ashamed to walk down the street alongside her. As she shared this the tears streamed down her face, threatening to take her eyelash extensions with the flood, she laughed aloud, “pass me a napkin love, or at least your toast, so I can wipe my face!” Her humour a salve for her hurt. I wanted to wave the wand, and take it all away, but as she cried, all I could offer seemed feeble.
Our mission is demanding, the battle against hate and indifference can sometimes feel insurmountable, but some days, the courage to go into the fight armed only with a bowl of soup is all we can offer in faith, hope and love, and that’s got to be enough, right?
Thank you for being part of the Inner Circle,
Jon
Rev. Jon Owen
CEO & Pastor
Wayside Chapel
